hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
