Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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