thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I looked at my own cervix.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
