Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
