ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
