you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
