I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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