Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
