Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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