after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dick very happy bro
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
