Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
