gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
