yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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