That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize