oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
