now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
is wine microwaveable?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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