Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
