you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Houston, we have a blender
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
