ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
