Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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