Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
