stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
