I showed him my bush... on skype.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
