just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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