Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
