its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
