Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
