I hate all girls vehemently.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize