Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
