I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
