My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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