Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There's always time for handjobs
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
