arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
