Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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