i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize