I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
