Tell her she can't have a vagina
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
