I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
