Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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