Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize