i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
