Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
