Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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