guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
