I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So vagazzling was a success
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
