I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
