i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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