Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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