There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
thus making me awesome and them whores
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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