Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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