There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
