How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
