puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
