I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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