FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
