I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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