You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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