I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize