New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize