the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
