just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I bet he comes in French.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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