Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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