Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
