whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
