it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
false alarm. still invincible.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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