hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i've created a new STD.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
